We have to contemplate
His grooming was in childhood dreams with values and aspirations assigned to be an asset to parents in sharing family responsibilities.
Imagine their life course, they are young people struggling to raise children and care for elderly and old age parents alone and far away. The world was not then globalized. Political ideologies had purchase and religion as a code of morality, and the sanctified journey to the next world would solidify social boundaries. He came to collapse with mimicry.
With the change of decades, not only have roles changed, but new norms have dramatically replaced old values of social solidarity and collective responsibility. The decade of the 1950s was a decade of ambitions and fantasies and the 1960s was the decade of dissent and movements, while the 1970s were demystifying and disillusioning, until the end of the previous century. .
The new century has arrived with the weakening of borders and the dismantling of institutions established through the processes of globalization and imagined referents of life. The generation of the 1950s was then past its peak. He needed respite and debt from his next generation. This does not happen. Instead, he receives censure and age criticism of indiscretion from their children.
The condensation of time and space has been so abrupt and rapid that this generation can hardly map the age before this century. Globalization, privatization and liberalization have melted away this predictable solidity of our social and economic sphere. It has caused dislocations, the disintegration of families and communities and the privatizations of individuals as well. The new generation is guided by the narrowing of the gap between instinct and reason.
This has led to undermining the importance of family, marriage and a focus on revitalizing personal choices. It is a break with the model of social solidarity and a negation of the belief that the family is capable of providing for basic and intermediate needs.
The social boundaries attributed with its intrinsic moral policing logic have been dismantled. Its ramifications were that the generation that had passed its prime in their childhood would do anything for their parents and grandparents, in their youth had to sacrifice everything for their children and when their turn came they were left to fend for themselves, worried and alone. The moral power of the age until the end of the century has been brutally stolen.
An interesting conversation of two friends is worth mentioning to reveal the suffering and stage change of our generation. Kh. Mir Sahib on Eid Day in 2015 was ill in an isolated house on the edge of a newly built house in the city that migrated from the city. Her two sons had left their home with their families to places unknown.
He hadn’t heard from them. He and his sick wife waited in abstinence. At the same time, his friend Pandit, dislocated from his native place, revealed to him that on a feast day he had to go without food for the grandchildren and that his children had to be fed first. He was ridiculed by his wife for asking for food before the children were not served. Imagine, in their childhood they had to look after their parents and serve them first and when in their youth they had to serve their children first. In old age, they are helpless, lost in ambiguity.
Before these abrupt social changes and changes in norms, in the generation before this century, there had hardly been any disintegration of families and loss of power of primary groups, which means that the family, the neighborhood, school and royalty interacted with institutions of the public sphere to urge moral pressure and set predictable social boundaries.
This century introduced consumerism and distant social networks that made the elderly obsolete and children defying the primacy of primary groups. They perceive there archaic notions of servitude. Instead of restoring the balance through moral pressure penetrating the primary groups of the older generation, the new generation is exposed to the vulnerabilities of mistrust.
Independence from these groups, ethical emptiness, and self-directed individualistic choices have meant that our children have less choice in the ever-changing new identities and rapidly changing priorities. Children in particular and young people in general are threatened by surveillance from non-visible sources. They are all the time put to the test of survivalism, in the face of the vulnerability in the singular identity. This leads to the fabrication of personal identities in its highly individualistic forms that have surfaced in the meeting places of commodity-driven consumer culture. They are very self-centered and less interested in sharing family responsibilities. Fluid relationships and market logic cast doubt on the institution of marriage due to the lack of inherent morality. The liquidity of mutual attractions has made our children, especially educated, career women undecided about marriages. Their number is increasing, especially among qualified girls. Parents have no choice but to come to terms with these changes. As culture is demeaned, with rapid individualization, culture has lost its applicability to meet the needs of the individual.
Global mobility traversing the cybernetic world of soft power is induced. Children and adolescents without understanding fall prey to its seductions. In the age of competition, failure or delay in the race and nervousness in visibility have made our children irritating and annoying. This is why identity politics is gaining ground and inclinations for asymmetric associations are preferred over traditional affinity for primary groups. It is precisely that capitalism and technological advancement have made the injured person devoid of sense and morality in the mad rush of the global career market. It is for this worldly survival, a quest for social solidarity and evocative pleasure, that young people were taken to religions and denominations. As our societies are rapidly losing this social fabric, the global market for internationalism has conditioned religiosity into a job site for young people around the world. Space has been left aside by the insolvency of ideals in politics. Escaping global completion, fearing failure, either the drug and medication depressive syndrome shelters them or an easy flight to collective solidarity through the paths of religiosity. In any case it is an instant finish. Parents have few options to save their children from this ugly world for successful survival. There is no romanticism, leisure and mannerism but only packaging to instinctively seduce, like animals devoid of personal discretion.
So what should parents do, in particular, in a society where the local language is seen as powerless and the rural-urban divide deepens with each passing day in contempt. Primary groups have become too weak to meet the needs of our children? The only way out is to link schools to families. Dialogue and communication in the public space should be strengthened in order to scrutinize social sites and save our children from being seduced by mobile phones. Appropriate academic uses of social media need control and limits. Conversations with children and peer groups need to be significantly improved. Make friends and not keep the elderly away, children should be encouraged by parents to have more closeness to the elderly in the family. It is more up to mothers to bring their children closer to their grandparents. It is an era of trust deficit. Moral teaching of religion and tradition in harmony can generate real social and cultural capital that our children need to maintain their smile, peace and gratitude in the face of unpredictability outside the home. . There are no friends or adversaries, only queues for materiality in a competitive race that launches test after test. Parents can be best friends and it is up to them to convince their children to draw the social circumference of their wants and needs. Once they are convinced of it; they become responsible for themselves. This is how they can increase their social circumference, use their discretion and live with their intrinsic strength. Parenting interactions, family conversations, and discreet communications from religious leaders are the only requirements that can make the land safe and sustained with spiritual and social capital.
Ashok Kaul, Emeritus Professor of Sociology at the Hindu University of Banaras